Why do you run?

“Why do you run?”

This is a question that I get a lot.  Many runners field this question a lot.

“Why do you want to run during pregnancy?”  This question follows.  Actually, this question is rarely phrased as a question: “OMG, you are still running?!” is what this one often sounds like.  I believe these people are actually asking me why I want to run while pregnant.

So why? Why am I working hard to stabilize my hypermobile SI joint so I can continue to run during my pregnancy?  Why I am I determined to squeeze out as many 15km long runs as possible before I hit 25 weeks of pregnancy, at which point, my obstetrician will cap all runs at 60 minutes?  Why was I thrilled to set a “pregnancy PB” of 47:40 at 20.5 weeks pregnant at the December 9 Heart and Sole Club 10km Race?

The Child Studies class at the school where I work recently asked me to do a Q & A session where students could ask me about my pregnancy.  After speaking about running during pregnancy, a student asked me if I was addicted to running. I appreciate his curiosity and inquiring mind.  People have asked me this before.  People, non-runners, want to ask runners this question.

Running in Rural AfricaIn considering my answer, I have to wonder why people seem quick to equate addiction with running.  What is it that makes their mind make that connection?  Do they ask soccer players if they are addicted to soccer?  Do hockey players get asked as often as runners if they are addicted to hockey? I don’t know the answer to this; I’m not a hockey or soccer player.  But I wonder if there something that is so confusing about distance running that makes people question my sport. To associate it with addiction.

I no longer have a quick or simple answer to these questions.  I no longer need an answer.  And maybe there is no answer that will satisfy the people who ask.

As someone who loves to write, I appreciate other runners’ attempts to capture their answers for demanding crowds.  Here are three that I appreciate most.

The plight of the 2:14 to 2:18 US Marathoner: Why do you do it? by Sage Canaday

You don’t do it for the money. You don’t do it for the fame or glory. You don’t even do it because you think you can make the Olympic team or beat the Kenyans/Ethiopians. So why? Why do you keep sacrificing your time and energy towards something that most of society would consider a selfish and frivolous endeavor? Why do you go to bed early on Friday and Saturday nights in the prime of your mid-twenties? Why do you run 120 miles a week in the cold wind, rain and snow? Why?

Because you can. Because through years of racing and hard training in high school and college you discovered that you had a knack for something. You achieved high enough in one aspect of your life enough to be considered as belonging to the top 1%. You decided to set the impossible goal of seeing how close you could get to your full potential in something quantifiable. And in the process you realized that you are a part of something bigger than yourself…you are a part of the depth of American distance running,

It isn’t the path that the “practical” person would take. It is a road full of risk and a high rate of failure. But in the end it doesn’t matter if you meet your ultimate performance goals because at least you tried. You took the bull by the horns and sought out on a journey that most wouldn’t dare to embark on. You believed strongly in something and decided to act upon that belief.

Read more here:

A blog that I quote often, The Logic of Long Distance, also offers a lovely narrative on this question.

Why I Run by Jeff Edmonds

I can’t speak for anyone else, but at a certain point the experience of running surpassed in value, and by a pretty wide margin, my desire to make sense out of it.

I don’t know why I run. I don’t know why I race. I don’t know why I compete. I don’t need to know. Because running means more to me than curiosity. It goes deeper than knowledge. I run. I compete. I move on down the line. I’m a runner.

For us runners, the question of “why” is pretty moot. Not because it may not be interesting, or important, from a certain point of view, but because we’ve left the question of the meaning of running behind. After all the questions have been asked, and all the answers given, in spite of the disagreement on essences, physiology, rationales, training strategies, trail running, road racing, i-pod wearing, mid-foot striking, turnover cadences, arm carriages, Jack Daniels, Arthur Lydiard, 20 miles a week or 100, 5k or the 50k, whether it’s really the Miles of Trials or the Trial of Miles, after all the words have been spoken and keyboards have been pounded, meanings given and ideologies subverted… After all this, we runners bend down and tighten the laces, open the door, brace for the cold and are renewed: another godawful, glorious, and meaningless 8 miler.

And finally, a short quote circa 1948 from the late, great Emil Zatopek- a runner who I love reading about (I especially enjoyed this short, sweet and compelling bio about him).

“If one can stick to training thought many long years, then willpower is no longer a problem. It’s raining? That doesn’t matter. I’m tired? That’s besides the point. It’s simply that I have to.”

I have a very short collection of existential threads, the first things that pop into my consciousness, when I try to capture my ‘why:’

runner on MacDonald Bridge in Halifax, NS

Winter, 2011

Because I love to.

Because my body knows what to do: pregnant or not.

Because the hard work pays off and I love the hard work and I love the pay off.

Because my hard work has helped me excel, be good at something.

Because I love the camaraderie.

Because it’s part of who I am.

Because it’s brought a lot of joy to my life and lets me be more joyful in other areas of my life.

Because it makes me a better Erin.

Have an answer to “why do you run”?  Let me know!

YES WE CAN!

Thursday, July 7

8:30p, Basse

Run Day #1!

25km: 20km in 1:55:52, 5km in 30:10

Today was the first day of the Love4Gambia run and I don’t quite have the right adjectives to tell you just how incredible it was.

At the end of my 25km, I stopped and raised my hands in the air in victory and everyone jumped out of the truck to hug me and it was amazing. Pa Modou has it captured in film. It was the best.

We began our day at 0615 and set out from Basse to the Senegalese border. Although we weren’t really sure where the border was or if the road would take us all the way to it. We were using 2 different google maps online, both were different. Kebba asked a number of people along the way to no avail until we asked just the right person. A man on a motorbike, in a regal purple Muslim boubou, said “Yes, this is my farm and it spreads to Senegal. The border is in the middle of my farm. You will follow me and I will take you there.”
The border was indeed in the middle of his farm. The ‘border’ was a half-broken concrete cinder block in his field: “The French and British put this here to mark it,” he says.

And so, our 430km run to Banjul began at this cinder block around 0745h.
Kebba wanted to begin running with me so we set off. I LOVED the first 3km of the run through this kind man’s farm. We chatted easily and ran a little too easily and fast- around 5:15/km. I knew that we should slow down, I just couldn’t. After 7 months of training, we were finally running.

The farm joined the village of Koina, the last place in The Gambia. The support truck, Pa Modou, Ashley and a happy surprise, our friend Almamo Karang, were ahead of us. The farm turned into the village through 2 concrete walls, only wide enough for a truck. Pa Modou was driving and when he got to this wall, he began beeping the horn continuously! Laying on the horn! Beeping like crazy!

“What’s he doing!?” I laughed to Kebba. “He’s going to wake the whole village up!”

“Yes, announcing our run,” says Kebba.

So Pa rides the horn a full kilometer through the village while Kebba and I run behind the truck. People came to see what the racket was. They waved. They looked on with a mix of curiosity and bewilderment. I was laughing so much. I was so happy and giddy. I told Kebba about my laughing bubble theory (stitch from laughing-induced lack of oxygen) and that this was the best laughing-bubble of my running career.

Almamo jumped out of the moving truck to take some photos in Koina while Pa abused the horn and he let us run by him to snap them. Then he needed back into the truck so he sprinted ahead. Pa wouldn’t stop the truck and we laughed as Almamo struggled to open the door and jump into the moving vehicle. Mind you, it was driving about 15km/h.

After Koina, we came to peaceful farming country. We settled into a relaxed run and enjoyed the beauty of the farmlands. The support truck stayed either ahead or behind us but always within sight. We got into a nice routine of stopping every 20 minutes at the truck to drink water to supplement the Gatorade in my hydration pack.

Pa Modou, the newest member of Halifax Running Club with his shiny new singlet, joined Kebba and I at km 8. We ran easily, me in the middle, my guys on either side. I talk a lot while running and had a really funny moment around km 11. I was talking away when I realized that neither of them were talking back. It reminded me of long runs in Halifax where I talk way more than long run partner McKim and he eventually tells me to stop asking so many questions! If Pa and Kebba could speak and run, they probably would have said the same thing!
At this point, my sidekick Ashley, aka Nicole Ritchie, began driving the NSGA truck. We laughed about her getting a job as a bush taxi driver from Basse to Banjul when Love4Gambia ends. We laughed a lot today.

Kebba ran until km 13 and Pa until km 16 then I finished the last 4km solo. It was peaceful and easy and I loved it. I waved at the kids. I bid the women “Salaam Aleikum.”

The heat was totally fine. Today was rather cool, topping out at 33 degrees with humidity of 56%. I didn’t feel hot while running, just sometimes hot when I stopped moving next to the heat-producing truck.

I completed the first 20km in 1:55:52, 5:48/km pace. A little faster than intended but give a girl a break on day 1!

We rested for 90 minutes under a great tree in a farming field. I had utter disregard for the farmers’ opinion of me and pulled my blanket up to the tree trunk and lay on my back with my feet propped up on the trunk. Add a fresh omelet sandwich, excellent recovery.

Ashley joined me for the beginning of the last 5km and then I ran the last 2.5km solo. My legs felt really good beginning this second run, a nice surprise. All in all, today was easy and it was happy and I laughed a lot. My team is the best. Other than that, I really can’t describe to you how incredible it was.

Day 1 in the books. YES WE CAN!

Thanks for all of the love online.

Into Africa

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

A few reflections from Ashley and I

1pm London Time, Monarch Air: Somewhere over the west coast of Africa

After 7 months of preparation, Ashley and I are finally on board the plane to Africa. We felt pretty surreal on the runway, like, “wow, it’s finally here for real.”

We got off to an exciting start to this second leg of our journey to The Gambia as someone on the plane was arrested. Don’t worry, it wasn’t me and it wasn’t Ashley! The excitement ended up not being worth the price it came at. It led to delay and we ended up sitting on the tarmac for almost an hour until police sorted the situation out. Seems a deportee was on the plane, being escorted by 2 deportation officers. Said deportee was getting out of control, swearing like crazy, maybe doing some other stuff. Police called and arrived. We waited.

Ashley and I just finished watching Running the Sahara- the perfect film to lead us over the Atlantic Ocean to Africa. I love the movie every time I watch it. This time the final scene where the team is walking arm-in-arm into the Red Sea at the end of their 111-day expedition was particularly moving as I can now imagine my team doing this on July 26. I can almost feel it. Ashley and I are so ready for this.

Watching a movie on my laptop was also a convenient way to ignore the dickhead white British guy on the other side of the aisle, who was putting on an impressive display of every stereotype of the white, British man in Africa.

I have a major case of butterflies in the belly, like I do before every major race. I think that there may even be 430 of them in there, one for each km I’ll run. As per usual, as soon as food is placed in front of me, the butterflies seem to take up a lot of room in my stomach and hunger disappears. Under my boss Ashley’s watchful eye, I dutifully ate all of the food in my airplane meal. Calories are required.

2:20pm London time. Still in air (I have my netbook with me).

Ashley is napping next to me and I want to nap too. I have Coldplay playing on my ipod which usually causes a pavlovian dog response. Coldplay = sleep. But not today. I have so much excitement and anticipation coursing through me that I feel like my heart is beating too fast.

I can’t wait to hug my friends in The Gambia. I keep picturing us at an outdoor table under a thatched roof at Leybato Guest House. Thatched roof under the stars of the African sky. We’re picked up friendships from 4 years ago.

I can’t wait to lace up my pink shoes and run. This 2 week injury-induced layoff, although a stressful and anxiety-inducing ordeal, was of course good for me beyond healing my groin. When I start the run on Thursday, I won’t be coming in with confidence from 2 strong training weeks (track workouts and long runs breed confidence in case you didn’t know). But I will be coming into this run with a mental advantage that I hadn’t considered: freshness. I’m not at all fatigued, mentally or physically, from miles or the hard work of vo2 max repeats and this must be good. I can’t wait to get out and let my legs work hard.

David Kachan (physio) told me to ensure that I did a full warm-up at least for the first 3 days of this expedition to help ensure my adductor muscle is warm and ready to run. In my world, warm-ups are usually reserved for track workout and races. I’m even excited to do B-skips on Thursday (don’t worry, PA runners, I’ll do some child skips for you!).

So. Some loose thoughts captured. I need to put the wonderful mental image of hugging Kebba, Pa Modou, Abbie, Yankuba, Spider and gang aside for a bit. Nap time.
8:30p, The Gambia. Paradise.

Sitting with a headlamp in the dark in our sweet thatched roof hut at Leybato Guest House in Fajara, The Gambia. Paradise.

Today was pretty incredible. I’ve posted some photos fo your on the Love4Gambia Facebook page- you can see how incredible there. The photos speak for themselves.
We got off the plane and were met by Pa Modou and Kebba, along with Pa Modou’s NSGA video camera AND a surprise Gambian tv crew! Pa had the video camera in his hand so I ran toward Kebba and he picked me up off the ground in a huge hug. They had a Canada Flag. They were cheering. It was amazing.

Then we were treated like royalty. Forget Will and Kate on PEI- Erin and Ashley are in The Gambia! My guys had everything set up so slick. They ushered us into a private air conditioned lounge. We were interviewed by the tv station. We had our own airport staff person who took our passports to get them stamped while we sat with Pa and Kebba on the couch. He returned and got our luggage tickets and then went and got our luggage for us. We were on a huge international flight and didn’t stand in a single line!

As Ashley and I waited for the guys to grab our ridiculously heavy bags, I told her to remember this moment, we would never travel like this again in our life. It was like we were Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie. Paris + Nicole. Erin + Ashley.

We left the airport happy, lovingly welcomed and feeling like we had come home. We spent some time with Pa Modou + Kebba at Leybato. They LOVED their Nova Scotian running gear (thanks to all of you generously donated). My friend and running partner Spider met us here and we enjoyed him. We ate spaghetti and meatballs by the ocean.

Though our air condition appeared circa 1944, we bravely turned it on and were delighted by cold air and no flames. We had about an hour of it before the 8pm power cut off happened, earlier than we expected. I managed to get a shower before the lights went out. Ashley is in the shower with a flashlight right now. For once in my African life, the cold water felt refreshing.

We drive 375 + km to Basse tomorrow. If you thought the travel to Banjul was long, wait until you see how long this takes!

Love Erin

On Being a Runner

Fine friends. This week I’m bringing you something a little different. Instead of my own blog musings, I present the 2 best things that I’ve read lately about being a runner. If you are wondering if this is a symptom of my Boston Marathon taper, yes, yes, it is.

Runner relaxing in athlete's village pre Boston Marathon

Athlete's Village, Boston Marathon

A taper (a period of reduced running mileage & intensity) is the very last, very important part of a distance running training cycle. The taper pretty much involves “doing less” but it deserves the same honor and respect as your weekly long runs and speed sessions. The long run trains your body for a goal race. Taper trains your body for a goal race. Taper provides rest, a reduction in mileage and a few fast workouts to stay sharp. With a taper, you let your hard-working body recover from your hard training. End result, a stronger body. But like many runners, my body wants to work hard!

Yesterday I ran 5km. That’s all. 5km. During my Tuesday and Thursday track workouts, my warm up and cool down total more than 5km. My mileage goal this week is 60% of peak mileage. In theory, I have lots of time this week (in reality, I am coaching 2 afternoons a week and had a board meeting last night that lasted longer than my 25k Moose Run). So what’s a running girl to do with all this time? Read about running, of course.

The first piece that I want to share with you is from a blog I stumbled upon called The Logic of Long Distance by 2 running dudes from Tennessee. Their post “How it Works” is superb. To me, it is beauty. It deserves to be shared. Author Jeff kindly agreed to let me share:

“How it Works” by Jeff Edmonds
March 11, 2011

This is how it works:

Training is doing your homework. It’s not exciting. More often than not it’s tedious. There is certainly no glory in it. But you stick with it, over time, and incrementally through no specific session, your body changes. Your mind becomes calloused to effort. You stop thinking of running as difficult or interesting or magical. It just becomes what you do. It becomes a habit.

Workouts too become like this. Intervals, tempos, strides, hills. You go to the track, to the bottom of a hill, and your body finds the effort. You do your homework. That’s training. Repetition–building deep habits, building a runner’s body and a runner’s mind. You do your homework, not obsessively, just regularly. Over time you grow to realize that the most important workout that you will do is the easy hour run. That’s the run that makes everything else possible. You live like a clock.

After weeks of this, you will have a month of it. After months of it, you will have a year of it.

Then, after you have done this for maybe three or four years, you will wake up one morning in a hotel room at about 4:30am and do the things you have always done. You eat some instant oatmeal. Drink some Gatorade. Put on your shorts, socks, shoes, your watch. This time, though, instead of heading out alone for a solitary hour, you will head towards a big crowd of people. A few of them will be like you: they will have a lean, hungry look around their eyes, wooden legs. You will nod in their direction. Most of the rest will be distracted, talking among their friends, smiling like they are at the mall, unaware of the great and magical event that is about to take place.

You’ll find your way to a tiny little space of solitude and wait anxiously, feeling the tang of adrenaline in your legs. You’ll stand there and take a deep breath, like it’s your last. An anthem will play. A gun will sound.

Then you will run.

Click here to visit Jeff’s “The Logic of Long Distance” blog.  It’s worth it.

The second piece that I will share with you is an excerpt from my favorite running book, “Once A Runner,” by John L. Parker, Jr. The story of Quenton Cassidy, a collegiate runner at a fictional university whose lifelong dream is to run a four-minute mile, is one of the most beloved sports novels ever written. I like to reread it during a taper. I’m forwarding you to page 123:

“Certain compliments and observations made him uneasy; he explained that he was just a runner; an athlete, really, with an absurdly difficult task. He was not a health nut, was not out to mold himself a stylishly slim body. He did not live on nuts and berries; if the furnace was hot enough, anything would burn, even Big Macs. He listened carefully to his body and heeded strange requests. Like a pregnant woman, he sometimes sought artichoke hearts, pickled beets, smoked oysters. His daily toil was arduous; satisfying on the whole, but not the bounding, joyous nature romp described in the magaznies. Others runners, real runners, understood it quite well.

Quenton Cassidy knew what the mystic-runners, the joggers, the runner-poets, the Zen runners, and others of their ilk were talking about.  But he also knew that their euphoric selves were generally nowhere to be seen on dark, rainy mornings.  They primarily wanted to talk about it, not do it. Cassidy very early on understood that a true runner ran even when he didn’t feel it, and raced when he was supposed to, without excuses and with nothing held back.

The true competitive runner, simmering in his own existential juices, endured his melancholia the only way he knew how: gently, together with those few others who also endured it, yet very much alone.  He ran because it grounded him in basics.

Running to him was real; the way he did it the realest thing he knew. It was all joy and woe, hard as diamond; it made him weary beyond comprehension. But it also made him free.”

Run on, fine friends.