Love4Gambia part 3

On June 15, Jennifer Pasiciel and the Love4Gambia team began running at the small cinder block in the middle of a farm field straddling Senegal and The Gambia in West Africa. Their destination is Banjul and the Atlantic Ocean, 424km away. They intend to make it on foot, one stride at a time.

Two years ago, with the same team of Dodou “Spider” Bah, Kebba Suso and Pa Modou Sarr, I made it to the Atlantic Ocean. I suppose I blazed the trail to Banjul. The run was my creation. I was the first to run clear across the country. It’s not my run though. It never was. Not even as I became the first person to complete it.

In 2011, it wasn’t even a solo run. It was a team run. The run belongs to the team. The run belong to The Gambia. It belongs to Pa Modou and Kebba and the exceptionally talented staff of the NSGA in Gambia. It belongs to the young students who have been lining the road in the first 3 days of the run, waiting for Jennifer and team to run by their school. See, they are the recipients of Jennifer’s run and the money raised by it. The money goes directly to their peer health education programs, where they learn life saving knowledge like how to prevent malaria, STIs and HIV; how to avoid water bourne illness; how to make decisions about their reproductive health. And maybe most significant for youth in this male-dominated society- they learn about gender rights and gender equity.

The run belongs to the mamas in the farm field who work hard all day to provide for the basic needs of their families. They know that a “toubab” (foreigner) is running for their children- to provide them with education that they would not otherwise receive without NSGA. They will be waiting for Jennifer, to thank her and the team. I think the team will owe them more thanks as I know that these mamas will lighten their kilometer-weary feet more than any amount of fuel and rest could.

This is the second time that I’ve watched the Love4Gambia run take flight with a new runner. Take flight without me. Last year, I watched Andrea Moritz run with the team. It’s emotional for me. I feel emotions that I can’t quite pull apart. Pride, mostly. Satisfaction. Extreme joy for what Jennifer and Cielianna will experience. Conviction that one person can make a different. Faith in the goodness of humanity. More faith in the tenacity and strength of Gambian women and children. I don’t feel anything close to envy or jealousy that someone else is doing my run. Because like I said, it’s not my run.

Runner in Africa with a child

How amazing is this photo. Jenn running with Abdoulie

On the second day of Jenn’s run, a young boy named Abdoullie ran alongside Jenn for 6km in 40 degree heat wearing jeans and sandals. He ran with her because he know that she was running for young people. The Love4Gambia run belongs to him.

Supporting the team is super important to me. The best way to support the team is by donating to the team. I’m saving my donation for their victory day- the day they reach the ocean- this will be the best way to congratulate them. Click here to donate online.

I’ve also been supporting the team by writing them daily messages. I know firsthand how important these messages are. They are like little bursts of fuel when the road gets long. These messages probably best sum up my experience of Love4Gambia from the sidelines.

Here is my “transcript” of messages to the team to date.

Erin Poirier, Friday June 14, 9:29pm

Dear team. This will begin my daily notes to you while you run across the Gambia for Love4Gambia. Now that you’ve spent the day together in the car, across the most amazing countryside on earth, I’m thinking that you are feeling the beginning of team togetherness and I’m so lovingly pleased for you because I know your bond is going to grow with each kilometer you cover together and it’s going to be amazing.

I hope you’ll get some rest tonight in Basse, Basse, Basse, the hottest place on earth. The run will feel cool, Jennifer, after the night you’ll spend in a hot Basse bed! I hope you’ll see the old man on the farm tomorrow morning when you get up. And make sure you pay close attention to how you are feeling when you start your run in the morning- those steps are pretty special and belong in long term memory.

For god’s sake, no one trip and fall! Careful!

I wanted Regan to cheer for you tonight. Instead, she pulled some pages out of a book. So I think she means to think of her when you see road signs. Kinda like pages in a book.

I’m sending you so much love, until tomorrow
xoxo,
Erin

Pa Modou, Saturday, June 14, 3:31am (Atl Time)

Hello sister Erin… this is so nice of you.. everyone had the oplortunity to read through and am sure it got everyone excited we receiving so much love from you. Hello to Regan and everyone in there.. we begin in 30 mins as i write this measage. BANJUL CALLING

Erin Poirier, Saturday, June 15, 5:30pm

Dear team. Congratulations on day 1!! A big day because it the first. Now Jenn can be convinced of the reality- she is really going to run all the way across an African country with 3 of the best men on the planet.

I hope your day was full of lots of fun and laughs and waves and horn honking!

Now rest well and eat well. And be strong tomorrow

14 month old running

wee little runner for Gambia

It was beautiful and sunny today in Halifax as I was thinking about you guys all day- it was perfect to think of the same sun warm on your faces too. I ran 8 km with Regan in the stroller. We will do 17 tomorrow to have 25 with you. We will run on all of your running days for you.

Regan isn’t quite walking yet but she “ran” about 500m in front of the house pushing this toy hippo- photo here. She’s even supporting you with her tiny steps.

Much love. (Don’t worry about responding- you don’t need too) xoxo Erin & Regan

Pa Modou , Saturday, June 15, 6:55pm

Thank you so much erin and Regan…. its really nice to read something from you and i read this aloud to the team w whiles we were havin our dinner… we rested today at the exact place we rested two years ago with you on the run…  thank you so much for the support and keep them coming.

Much love

Erin Poirier, Sunday, June 16, 11:00am

It’s day 2 and you’ve done it! 50km in two days. You are off to an excellent start. Now the first thing is for Jen:

The road across an African country is run 20 minutes a time. You don’t need to think 20 minutes ahead. You don’t need to think 20km ahead. Just run 20 minutes at a time.

The full belly water/gatorade will lessen as your body adapts- promise!

I loved reading about all of your running together and supporting each other. All together, you are the greatest ally to legs that must run every day.

I loved the photos too! The children and youth are so excited for you! And they should be! And their excitement- put it in your pocket for when you need it. It’s so wonderful to see the team running together. And Jennifer is turning color already! “Toubab, you changed color!”

Mother and baby runningRegan and I ran this morning- 15km beginning at 6:40am. I liked knowing that we were running together at the same time. We ran down to Point Pleasant Park so that we could look out across the Atlantic Ocean and send your all strength. We were supposed to run 17km today for a 2 day total of 25 but Regan is heavy in the stroller so I think you’ll let the last 2km slide A photo coming in a second. She had a rattle in her hand and was shaking it for most of 1 hour 20 minutes- I think for you all!

I wish you lots of rest this afternoon and lots of food to refuel.

Tons of love,
Erin and Regan

Pa Modou, Sunday, June 16, 12:00pm

Wow this is amazin Sister Erin thank you like always

Erin Poirier, Monday, June 17, 8:18am

Dear team,

Here you are on day 3! Can you believe you’re going to have 3 days and more than 75km in when day 3 is complete!! Only the most serious marathon runners will run more than 75 kms in a whole week now here you are with that many kilometres in 3 days. Jennifer, you are a very strong athlete! And boys, you are so strong too! My message today is for you to all celebrate how strong you are. your strength will carry you to Banjul.

I’m looking at photos and Spider is much more muscular! Are you the eldest now? and has there been a boss each day?

It’s raining in Halifax today so maybe you’ll encounter some nice rain today too. I hope it will stop raining so that I can run with regan when I pick her up at the end of the work day.

Jennifer, I also have a message for you from Cliff today- he’s thinking about you. Here it is: Tell her to be patient. be in no hurry and enjoy this exceptional experience, wish her the best and all those that will meet her will come to appreciate what an outstanding person she is. they will come to know as we have.

Lots of love,
Erin and Regan

Pa Modou, Monday, June 17, 1:51pm

Thank you so much sister. This was read to the team during our rest time and we all laughed at you calling spider muscular hahahaha

 Jennifer Pasiciel, Monday, June 17, 1:53pm 

Thank you so much for the daily messages Erin. We always read them along with Cathy and “Aunty Debby” during our 20km rest break and it really carries us through to the end. Also, the kind words from Cliff were so nice to hear! The team is coming together so nicely (Pa and Spider pending…), but Mama Cie is keeping her two sons in line:) All the best to you and Regan. We are all thinking of you too lots as we are running, and I am blown away by your ability to do this run! Miss you lots and enjoy the Nova Scotia coolness:)

Jenn

Love4Gambia from our Rocking Chair

This Monday marked the beginning of the Love4Gambia 2012 run. One week shy of the one year anniversary of my run across The Gambia, with my team, Pa Modou, Kebba and Spider at her side, Ottawa runner Andrea Moritz took her first steps from the cinder block in a farm field on the border of Senegal on the 424km journey to the Atlantic Ocean. I’d been waiting for this moment since Andrea accepted the challenge of running across the Gambia last fall. I’ve been full of anticipation for her and gratitude for the generous people who have donated to the NSGA (making the mission of saving lives with the run a reality. And I’ve been wondering how I would feel.

I haven’t blogged since March 20, a month prior to the birth of our daughter. As I prepared for Love4Gambia 2012, I realized that I had words finally ready for writing. And with a now 2 month old baby, each day is sunnier and I’m finally ready for my blogging keyboard.

I watched online as Andrea traveled to The Gambia and on Friday, read a post from Pa Modou saying, “We are going to the airport to pick up our runner.”

Emotion punched me in the face when I read this. “Our runner.” I was “our runner.” As a new mom, child-related metaphors are within close reach. I wondered if this is what the firstborn child feels like when her parents bring a new baby, a second child, home. She might feel a similar mix of envy and dismay as she realizes that she has to share her parents love and her place in the world with another human.

These emotions where fleeting though. I read them on my iPhone as I rocked my perfect baby girl. With my sweet babe in my arms, I thought about my feelings and clarity arose as the envy dissipated.

Love4Gambia was my idea but it was never my run. And it was never about me. Just like “our runner” doesn’t belong to me, the run doesn’t belong to me. The run belongs to The Gambia. It belongs to the indomitable spirit of the South Bank Road; to the hardworking women farmers; to the bright and eager school kids; to the the toddlers chasing the school kids; to the mothers with babies on their backs; to Pa Modou, Kebba and the incredible NSGA staff who work so hard for a brighter, healthier tomorrow for Gambians.

By running this year, Andrea is keeping the Love4Gambia dream alive but the run doesn’t belong to her either.

On Sunday, as the team relaxed on the beach in The Gambia, my family relaxed on my native PEI. I went for a long run and purposely chose a route that would bring me through rural farm country- so similar to The Gambia. While I was running, I closed eyes (on a safe, empty stretch of road) for a few strides. I could feel Kebba’s stride in sync with mine, smiling and chiding me to stop asking so many questions. I could picture Pa on horn, belting out Akon. I could see Spider singing and dancing on the road up ahead and hear Ashley singing Bryan Adams next to me.

While run never belonged to me, what it left onside me, what I walked away from Atlantic Ocean and the South Bank Road with will belong to me forever.

Now my daughter and I will watch my team and Andrea, “their runner,” charge to the Atlantic Ocean in Banjul from our rocking chair.

There is no place in the world I’d rather be.

Up next on my blog (when I have free hands long enough to type): labour and delivery ARE similar to marathon racing

a 2 month old baby in a rocking chair

32

Runners run 31km in The Gambia

Reaching 31km in The Gambia on my birthday

32 is an important number in marathoning. For many, it’s the peak of long runs in training. In a race, it’s considering by many to be the halfway point; the moment of truth marker; where the race actually begins.  32 was a marker that I thank God never reached in my 17 day run across The Gambia, having tapped out at 31km on my 31st birthday.

32 is also an important number in pregnancy.  From 32 weeks onward, babies born early have a very good chance of surviving and thriving.

Running at 32 weeks pregnant is… going.  My pregnant body is definitely the boss. I’ve been dialing the treadmill speed way down and no longer look at the miles covered when I hit my 30 minutes. I can’t run two days in a row due to the recovery that my heavier body requires.

At 32 weeks, I’m actually finding it hard to run even every second day.  When your body is so clearly the boss, there are days where factors stand in the way.  When I’m so busy at work, it’s hard to run due to fatigue.  If I’ve been on my feet all day at work, my belly feels stretched and the ligaments say no running. I need to be careful of the joints in my pelvis which are inclined to pull apart and hurt. And I’m just plain tired.

I have a serious pregnant insomnia problem. Sleep comes in 2 hour increments and I often get up out of bed for an hour or more in the middle of the night. Nature’s way of preparing the expectant mama for motherhood?

This baby definitely belongs to me.  I’m convinced that it’s not just a runner but a decathlete and begins practicing all 10 track and field events each night in one hour segments beginning around 10pm.  It is pretty much impossible to sleep with that in utero racket from my strong babe.

a runner 32 weeks pregnant

32 weeks

Regardless of days per week run and weekly mileage, the act of putting my stretched running gear on makes me feel like a runner and I’m a happy person when I feel like a runner. A happy runner is a happy mother-to-be.

As I approach the end of the 32 weeks, I need to be especially careful of the joint at the front of my pelvis as the tenderness coming this joint tells me it’s starting to separate.  My run today was 12 minutes long. I’m happy though. Even if this is the beginning of the end of running, the end of pregnancy is in sight and I’ve had a pretty good run.

Running (again) for The Gambia

The money that I’ve raised so far during my Blue Nose 5km event as part of Team Love4Gambia also makes me happy.  You can help make both me and the NSGA happier by considering a donation: click here.

If you are a runner, then running somehow factors into your decision about when to start a family.  It was just before the Boston Marathon last year that my lovely husband and I decided that we were ready to begin trying to start our family.

husband and wife embrace after Boston Marathon 2011

Husband and I after '11 Boston Marathon

I was running my 3rd straight Boston Marathon that Patriot’s Day weekend in April and we decided together that it would be my last for a few years. Although we were very quiet about our baby-making plans, I spent a lot of that race weekend thinking about how I hoped that I would be missing the following year’s Boston Marathon barefoot and pregnant.  It’s still hard to believe that our wish came true; we are so blessed. It’s fitting that my due date is just 8 days after this year’s Boston Marathon.

When I was running across The Gambia, my team and I talked about my baby everyday. I was nervous then, worried about my ability to conceive a baby and how long it would take after running 150km weeks for 4 weeks across a hot African nation.  Of course, this worry was needless, my body was at its most healthy peak and I quickly became pregnant as soon as I arrived home in Nova Scotia.

Every day in July, as we ran the 424km length of the South Bank Road, Kebba would say to me, “Inshallah, you will have a baby.” He says that he prayed for me and my baby everyday. Pa Modou and I talked about how, Inshallah, we would have babies born close together who would grow up united across the Atlantic.  Spider talked about me pushing a baby carriage on Fajara Beach; and running hand-in-hand with a small child on the warm shores of the Smiling Coast. As my child grows up, I will tell him about how team Love4Gambia planned everyday for his arrival on the road to Banjul.

Blue Nose Team Love4Gambia runs for kids in The Gambia- for the life-saving work of the NSGA on the ground in West Africa. It is most fitting that I share my training for this run with this baby who was so loved already as I ran for kids in The Gambia last July.

You can share some Love4Gambia too by joining Team Love4Gambia. Click here.

team Love4Gambia at the Blue Nose Marathon

Will Running Help Parenting?

Like me, I’m sure that most first-time expectant parents think about what it will be like to be a parent.  Will you be a good parent?  How hard is it going to be?  By what margin will the joy outweigh the hard days?

I’ve worked with youth for my entire almost 10 year nursing career; the last 4 years in more of a counseling role with teenagers.  I’ve learned a lot about what makes a good parent.  Actually, that’s not true.  I’ve learned the most about what makes a poor parent.  Some key parenting things, or rather the absence of some key parenting things seems to make a difference.  In my observation, in no particular order these “things” are:

  • Meals together
  • Food in the house for school lunches
  • Transportation to sports and extracurricular events
  • Attendance and support at sports and extracurricular events
  • Fair rules that are enforced, including a curfew and prohibition of romantic partner sleepovers
  • Active interest in the youth’s peer group
  • Active interest in homework and study completion
  • Avoidance of full blown parental conflict in front of kids
  • Consistent demonstration the kid is more important than the internet, facebook, tv etc.

I was lucky to have all of these things growing up (thanks Mom and Dad). This is a short and non-comprehensive list.  And it’s for teenagers. My child won’t be a teenager for more than a decade.

A Canadian girl runs with a barefoot African Child

with 6 year old Lamin "More Fire" Suso

Can Running Help?

I’ve been thinking about this question, will I be a good parent, in context of being a runner.  I think that there may be some parallels between being a good runner and being a good parent. Perhaps some aspects of being a good runner will help me become a good parent. Some of the lessons I’ve learned from running may help me in this next chapter of my life. Maybe I’m onto something. Or maybe not.  But here goes.

Related Concept #1: Runners Run. Parents Parent.

The end.

Just joking.

Here is what I think related to this. I’ve begun many training cycles with competitive goals: 3 consecutive Boston Marathons, shorter fall races, the distance of a hot African country.  In the midst of a training cycle, with a competitive goal loaming, you run; you train; you perform track workouts that you do not enjoy because your coach says to; you do your strength exercises even though you hate them; you work your butt off literally and figuratively and eat a foolish number of calories to maintain a competitive butt weight.

a marathon runner in an ice bath

The Ice Bath: no one really wants to do this

You sacrifice things in the midst of a hard training cycle. You pass on that second glass of wine. You choose bed instead of a late movie with your friends. You give up a relaxing weekend morning to run 2-2.5 hours every weekend for 16-18 weeks.  You don’t eat bacon and eggs for breakfast. You are late for supper with your partner because you at the track busting out 10 x 1km with your training partners because you can’t do that workout alone.

You run in a different way than you do when you are running for yourself, for fun, without a competitive goal.  With a competitive goal, you’ll wake up on a Wednesday at 6am. You have a 10km recovery run to do before work just like every other Wednesday.  It’s raining.  Or snowing. You do not want to run. You want to roll over in your warm bed and sleep until 7am. But you get yourself out of bed and you run anyway.  Your weekly mileage total depends on this easy run.  Your performance at the track the next day depends on this easy run, on its recovering nature.

A runner runs, even when she doesn’t want to.

You do all of this because that’s what it takes to achieve success.

And because a runner runs even when she doesn’t want to.

This is the trait that might help me parent my child.  I have a long history of doing things, hard things, hard runs, that I don’t always want to do.  But I do them anyway, with minimal complaint, in the greater pursuit of success.  I’m sure that there will be moments when I don’t really want to do child-rearing activity ‘x.’ But I know that I’ll be able to do it, with minimal complaint.

A parent parents, even when she doesn’t want to.

Related Concept #2: No hard work, no pay off.

Awesome kids don’t grow themselves.  Awesome personal bests don’t set themselves. Both require a lot of hard work.

I didn’t make it 424km across a hot African country by sitting on the couch.  I made it by training and running 6 days a week for 7months.  Hard work was how I made my dream of running clear across The Gambia possible. Hard work is how I set my racing personal bests.

I’ve been both a 4:05 marathoner and a 3:18 marathoner. I’ve been both a 2:06 half marathoner and a 1:33 half marathoner. The biggest difference between these two versions of myself?  Hard work. Dedication to my training. Running when I don’t feel like running because that’s what runners do.

Maybe putting in the hard work for the future pay off applies to raising a child. You can’t just sit on the couch hoping or waiting for a child to become a good, successful and well-adjusted child.  You invest in your child, you put in the hard work of parenting and you give them the best chance possible to be successful.

Related Concept #3: Limits of the human body

a runner at the Halifax Seaport, Margical Road

Winter 2011

The human body was born to run. It was born to run in the heat. It was born to run in the snow. It was born to run long distances.

I know these facts to be true as I’ve lived their truth pounding the pavement for many years.

The human body was also born to deliver babies and to care for babies.  I’ve brushed against the limits of the human body many times with sneakers on my feet and stretches of road ahead of me.  I’ve developed a lot of mental and physical strength over my many years of running. I feel like this is the evidence that I need to know and believe that my body can deliver this baby.  My body can handle the sleep deprivation of caring for an infant.

Many people have asked me how I feel about giving birth.  People began asking me, as early as the day that I announced my pregnancy, if I had a birth plan?  Some want to know if I’ll opt to use drugs or if I’ll go for a natural birth.  Most of these people are “ladies” (read more here).

I always give them a vague answer, indicating that I haven’t thought it through, haven’t made a “birth plan” (whatever that is) but that I feel like I’ll be quite ok in labour. Many of these people look at me skeptically.  I try to explain that I’ve been a distance runner for many years, I feel like it’s been good preparation for childbirth.  The skeptical look remains.  Sometimes they are outright dismissive of my assertion that I think that I can deal with labour because I’ve dealt with the pain of late miles in a marathon; with the evil voice that tries to make you stop running; that I am so familiar with pain that I can differentiate fatigue based pain from hardwork and pain from cellular damage

Only one beautiful soul spared me from skepticism. My friend and colleague Melanie Breen, a mother of two, wanted to talk a little bit about childbirth.  “You are going to be really good at this,” Melanie told me.  “All of your running, your yoga, your mental strength and experience is going to serve you so well.”

I said nothing for a few long seconds and then responded, “You are the first person who had said that to me.  I keep trying to tell other people that.”  Then she hugged me.  And I felt good.

Related Concept #4: Hope and belief in something that’s really flimsy

Success in running and racing is flimsy. That’s the word I like for this: flimsy.

A runner can have the best possible training cycle under the best coach with very few missed days for injury and lots of confidence and belief in themself.  And then they can still flop on race day. I know, this happened to me this year at Boston Marathon.

Near perfect training. Healthy body. Healthy mind. Super husband, on the course to cheer for me. Super coach, on the course to cheer for my team and I.  My coach was fully confident that I was ready to run 3:10. I was fully confident. The weather was perfect. The wind was at my back. It should have been my day. Then the race began and I mentally blew up and blew my goal.  You can read more in the race recap I wrote the following day here.

Even with near-perfect conditions in both training and on race day, the race itself has no guarantees.  More things can go wrong than can go right. There is no guarantee that if you do “all of these things” then you will run 3:10.  Or whatever your race goal is. It’s flimsy.

But you do it anyway, knowing the risk of failure is present. You choose to believe in yourself, over and over, and you tie up your shoes and toe the line again because you believe that one of those times, it is going to be your day.  And you’ll miss it if you don’t accept the risk of failure and get out there and try.

This requires a strong foundation of belief in yourself. I made it across a country in running shoes with this belief.  Before I set off from that farm field in Senegal, I knew that some people thought that I would never make it.  Some of these people told me before my run began; some admitted it to me after.  But the thing was, it didn’t matter what they thought or what they believed. I made it to the Atlantic Ocean 424km later only because I believed that I could do it.  My belief was the only one that mattered.

an African newborn girl

My friend Kecouta Sonko's baby girl Awa in Senegal

Maybe this acceptance of risk and failure and belief in yourself helps with parenting. Maybe you do the best you can, believe in yourself as much as you can and give it your best shot while understanding that there are tons of other variables at work making your end goal- a race PB, a happy, healthy, well-adjusted child- flimsy. As a parent-to-be, if you don’t take a risk and chose to do it, you probably miss out on something really great; something way better than a race PB.

At the end of the day

That’s all I have. Four loosely related traits that I’ve grown throughout my running career that may serve me as I make the plunge into parenthood. We’ll be first time parents.  We will learn. My husband and I are a strong team. This baby was planned and we love this kid a lot already.  These must count for something.

I’m terribly sensitive to unsolicited advice, but feel free to let me know what you think.

Welcome to Forever in Running Shoes

Thank you for visiting me at my new blogging address.  As I wrote in this blog, introducing our new Love4Gambia runner Andrea to the world, Andrea will be assuming most of the blogging at love4gambia.com. I love to write and I love when you read my writing and leave me comments, so I’ve decided to continue here. You can find all of my writing from The Gambia on this site (thanks to team wordpress!).

I am thrilled beyond words that Andrea will fulfill my team’s dream to keep our Love4Gambia legacy alive and will run across the country of The Gambia beginning June. Her journey in support of the Nova Scotia-Gambia Association will keep kids and communities alive in The Gambia.

Andrea will fulfill this dream while I work on another: bringing a healthy baby into the world this April. Most of my life now revolves around running while pregnant and preparing our life for Baby Poirier, aka Lil’ Pear.  Expect more blogging about this pregnant runner.

I wish that I could take credit for “Forever in Running Shoes” but credit goes to the creative genius of one Vira Kou. I love this blog name for a few reasons. It reminds me of Vira, my forever life friend.  I’ve enjoyed Vira’s friendship and uproarious sense of humor for more than a decade. The name also makes me think of growing up happily to the soundtrack of Neil Diamond’s “smooth velvety voice.”  My father is one of the biggest Neil Diamond fans around.  Finally, “Forever in Blue Jeans” is my cousin Melissa’s favorite Neil Diamond song and thinking about that makes me happy.

So for now, see you the roads and on the blog.  I leave you with the most fitting video that I can, “Forever in Blue Jeans.”

Guest Blog: “Becoming a Gambian”

I’m thrilled to bring you a guest blog post by Allison Reeves this week.  Allison is a PhD student in health communication and was one of four NSGA interns that worked in The Gambia on our Gender Equity and Youth Leadership through Health and Human Rights Education project in July and August of this year.  She was stationed in Bansang, a community that Kebba and I ran through on Day 5 of our Love4Gambia run.

The following is a letter to home that she wrote from The Gambia.  It’s a beautiful read that captures the essence of what it is to work and live in The Gambia.

————————————————————————————————

August, 2011

Hi everyone!!!

Sorry it’s taken me so long to write but I have very limited access to the Internet and phone and I’ve been very busy becoming a Gambian. It’s been soooo nice to be unplugged from everything and so I’ve been avoiding technology.

It will be virtually impossible to describe my last 24 days here—it feels like I’ve lived a lifetime in such a short time span, and in the mean time my reality has been turned on its head.  Coming back to “real life” in Toronto will definitely be a shock and I’m a bit
anxious about it.

I’ve been so happy here in Bansang, a small-ish community deep in The Gambia. Our hotel is right on the Gambian river and I swim regularly in it, despite its often sketchy brown-ish look. Our hotel is run by a family and is adjacent to the extended family compound. Many families here are polygamous but ours isn’t; the hotel is owned by a husband and lone wife (Ibrahima & Bintou), and in the compound lives an uncle and aunt (Mamoud & Sainey) and their five children (Ibrahima, Mbinkindy, Pabi, Backaray & Dodo), a few stray cousins (Lamin, Lamin, Seikou & Sana) and a grandmother (Dodo).

The couple who runs the hotel spent 35 years living in Paris (another interesting story for another day) and the husband has been visiting their grown children and grandchildren in Paris for most of my stay here. I’ve become very close with his wife, Bintou, in his absence, and have been speaking French every day with her. The family speaks Mandinka, the tribal language of Bansang and area, and I’ve been picking up bits and pieces here and there. The children in our compound study English in school so they love practicing English with me.

I thank the Creator/God/Allah/Universe for my French every day as it has resulted in me becoming quite close with Bintou and she has able to act as a cultural translator for me, which has made my experience so much more rich than other volunteers who only speak English. Since I started traveling abroad during high school, I have used my French in virtually every single place I have traveled (including Peru, Europe, India and twice in Africa).  I’m so grateful my parents insisted on us being in the French immersion programme.

Here are some examples of my Mandinka:

Sumo lei? Ibi-jay! (How are you? I’m fine.)

Courtonatay? Tana tay! (Family is good? Yes; they’re fine.)

Etodung? Alli-Sana Fatty (my Gambian name—Ali is funny to them since it’s a man’s name here; Sana is the name of one of my “sisters” in the compound who insisted I take her name—ironically it is the same name given to me by a friend I met in Morocco—and Fatty is the family surname, which is how everyone is acknowledged in the community.)

A canadian on a donkey taxi in The Gambia, Africa

Taking a taxi with the family

It’s been such a pleasure living with the family- every day after work I’m greeted by a soccer team’s worth of kids at the house, who all want to jump on me, shake hands, play, teach me Mandinka words and practice English. I’ve also joined in family eating out of a communal bowl, I’ve pounded millet, learned to clean fish, washed my laundry by hand in the river, taken my turn carrying their infant girl Dodo on my back, and other practices of daily living.

Everything is family-centered and the concept of being alone is virtually non-existent. I’ve taken to sleeping outside under a bug net because the bedroom is too hot and although we have fans, the power in the city shuts down around 2am. After the first few nights waking up soaking in sweat I decided I needed a new plan. Over time my outside mattress has become a new hang out place for the kids and myself and I’ll often have one or more of them sleeping in my bed in a given night.

Most families here are Muslim and I’ve seen such a beautiful representation of this faith among the people here. They are so peaceful, loving and kind and they love their faith and are very gentle in their practice of it. I’ve also joined in prayers once and found it relaxing and enjoyable. It’s reminded me I have to get back to my meditation practice. It’s currently Ramadan and everyone is fasting but they don’t mind if the “Toubabs” (white folks) eat before sunset.

a canadian health volunteer and a Gambian student in Africa

Allison and a Peer Health Educator

Work is also going well. I’m teaching sexual health to youth aged 13-18 (ish) in a summer school programme through the Nova Scotia Gambia Association (NSGA), an NGO funded by CIDA (Cdn International Developmental Agency). Each school in the Gambia has a team of “peer health educators”, of which 5 from each school in this area (25 schools) were selected. There are 5 classes of students who rotate through my room, which is an open-concept classroom with bars over windows rather than panes, no lights and definitely no air
conditioning!

Topics include reproductive anatomy & function, fertilization & reproduction, STIs, HIV/AIDS, UTIs, infertility, abortion, menstruation, gender, equality, decision making, healthy relationships, female circumcision and others. The female circumcision and polygamy topics have been a bit daunting and I’ve asked a Gambian instructor to join the class for these discussions since I’m so painfully biased…and it has necessitated me leaving the class to use the “washroom” on occasion where I will lay on a sole couch in the staff room with a book over my face and tune out the horrifying stories of female circumcision related by the Gambian instructor to the students. Generally all are aware of the negative health outcomes associated but the deeply held tradition acts as a serious barrier to change. But the practice is slowly getting fazed out, quicker among some tribes than among others.

Overall, teaching is fun and I’m greeted in the morning with lots of “Good Morning, Miss Alli!!!”’s, hand shakes, hand slaps and various other tricks we’ve created over the weeks. The students are, for the most part, eager to learn and are literally a million times better behaved than Canadian students. When they do speak out of turn I’ll give them a stern look followed by a wink & smile and that seems to do the trick. They have some difficulty with my Canadian English and so writing things on the board tends to help. Also I can always hook a Gambian teacher or one of the senior students and bring them into the class to translate into “Gambian English” if required.

I’ve learned so much about teaching, learning and cross-cultural relations—I can’t even go into it all here, as it would be like a thesis onto itself. Every Friday we have “open day” at the school where students come together in the assembly hall and we have games, fun quizzes, singing, dancing, drama and debating. They get soooo engaged in this day and everyone loves to participate. They absolutely love when a Toubab becomes “Gambian”, in speech, behaviour, etc., so I’ve had some fun on open day getting on stage and playing around with them a bit. When I started dancing the Gambian dances I’ve learned at home their jaws dropped and then they went absolutely nuts over it. It was so funny! There’s one other Canadian here too but it’s typically me who is the one making an ass of myself.

At our school site, we work only with male teachers and male NSGA staff. It has been so remarkable to work with these amazing men, who are fighting against gender inequalities, female circumcision and violence against women. Yet another reminder that one need not have group membership to care about injustices facing that group, a topic I’ve discussed at length in my PhD dissertation.

This week, my Gambian co-teacher, Mamadi, has shared personal stories with the students about his marriage: that he had a love marriage (rather than arranged), that he adores his wife, that they never fight, that he helps her cook and clean and that he sings and dances for her to make her happy. It is so touching to see smiles curling up the students faces and giggles among the girls upon hearing this disclosure of love (a very rare thing!). Many of these relational behaviours between husbands and wives are alien in this culture, yet another reason why the work of this organization is so important.

a canadian in The Gambia with her new Gambian family

Allison and her sibings: Mbinkindey, Sana & Backaray

Despite my bias against some of these types of cultural phenomenon, the are many very special features in Gambian culture as well. For instance, it is known as the “Smiling Coast of Africa”, a statement that is absolutely true. I have never met such friendly, happy people in my life. Everyone on the street wants to say hello, ask our names, welcome us to the country, offer us food and drinks, etc. All the children follow us yelling, Toubab! Toubab! And when they catch up to us they sort of just stand there and stare with a sheepish smile on their faces. The most courageous of the bunch extends a tiny hand and then giggles with glee after we shake it. Our students also want to touch our Toubab skin, play with our Toubab hair and our Toubab clothes.

Aside from friendliness, there are other incredible aspects of Gambian culture. For instance, they also say it is better to be poor in the Gambia than in the West, due to the phenomenon of “social immunity”, as described by one of my co-workers. He says that even a poor man is guaranteed three meals a day because people here can literally knock on any door in town and be welcomed in for a meal. There is no such thing as refusing a request for food or shelter. The community cares for itself and few are left on the margins (I’ve only seen one person in the community who appears to be in abject poverty, and this was likely due to his having mental health issues—he wore a big winter coat and hat in the dead of the heat and wandered around mumbling to himself). Another example is that children of extended family members can be raised by any family member who is able to support them. For instance, access to education might be improved by moving in with an aunt, as is the case in our compound. I mentioned that there are a few cousins living in our compound who visit their birth parents on holidays or  weekends but ultimately enjoy a more positive life living and working at the hotel for the summer and attending school in Bansang during the school year.

With respect to my way of life here, it has also been such a blessing to be living closer to the earth, using my hands to make things (rather than solely for typing), living within a cycle wherein virtually no waste is created, playing outside and making our own fun, away from AC, TV, video games and the Internet, as well as learning local songs, games and customs.

I’ve also enjoyed discussing important issues that affect Gambians with my co-workers, who are deep in the fight against HIV/AIDS, gender discrimination (including mainstream domestic violence), forced child marriage among girls (12 yrs-15 yrs) and other issues. There is an amazing shift in the country as we speak and I’m in an incredible position to bear witness to this change. Among the students we teach I can already see many bright lights appearing as strong, intelligent, mature and sensitive girls and boys who will grow through programmes like this summer school and bring about a new Gambia.

Looking forward to sharing more when I return.

Love, Alli-baba

You can learn more about the Nova Scotia-Gambia Association and the project that Allison worked on here

Reintegration: Life after Love4Gambia

I’ve been home from Africa for almost 3 weeks now. Anyone with the good fortune to have spent time in Africa will agree with me when I write that it’s harder to come home than it is to go to Africa.

I struggled with whether or not I should continue blogging, unsure if there are people out there who still care about what I have to say now that my team successfully ran across an African nation. I thought about continuing to write in the context of the number of people who come in and out of my life (work, personal, sport) and ask me “how was your trip” and want a 3-word answer. How could I possibly answer in 3 words? But I know that this is what they want so I respond “It was amazing” and they reply “Great!” and go about their day. Then there are the people who only want to know if I saw any spiders or monkeys, if the food was weird and if the toilets were gross.

I also thought about writing in context of my great love for my team, for running, for the NSGA and for The Gambia. At the end of the day, the words are still coming out of me so I’ll continue to write.

3 Gambian runners and 1 Canadian runner running togetherNow back to returning home and reintegrating into my life in Nova Scotia. It’s accepted that some travelers will experience culture shock when traveling for extended periods of time in countries that differ greatly from their own. This was my 3rd summer spent on the continent of Africa and I don’t personally experience what you would label “culture shock” in West Africa. Gambian culture is one that I know and love. This summer, while running and spending 24/7 with 3 Gambians, I had the incredible fortune to get know and love their culture even more intimately.

On August 3, I arrived home in Nova Scotia after pretty much a transcendent experience with Gambians who I call family. The reintegration is complicated.

I’m back at work and have been making comments that I know are inappropriate . No need to make them again here- I need to keep my job. But I’m having a hard time feeling bad about them. And I did preface one with “permission to speak freely”…

A Canadian nurse and young kids in The Gambia, Africa

Young kids in Jakhaly

The thing is, I’ve just spent my summer raising money to help prevent HIV and malaria in West Africa. In 2010, malaria killed more than 1000 kids under age 5 in The Gambia. The 2010 under-5 mortality rate for Gambian children is 106. The under-5 mortality rate is the probability of dying by age 5 per 1000 live births. This means that for every 1000 kids, 106 will die before their 5th birthday. In Canada, the under-5 mortality rate is 6. In The Gambia, 16% of kids under 5 suffer from moderate to severe malnutrition. Only 61% of kids in The Gambia are enrolled in grade one because their parents have to pay school fees. All stats are from Unicef  and WHO.

A Canadian nurse and a newborn in The Gambia, Africa

Ashley and a newborn in Jakhaly

I returned to Canada to a work place concerned with and focused on how 1 in 3 Nova Scotian youth age 2 to 17 are overweight or obese. Sure obesity is a public health problem. Our Minister of Health and Wellness’s most recent press release stated that poor diet and inactivity are putting many young people at risk for a lifetime of chronic disease and other health issues. I don’t disagree.

But when you think about where and how I’ve spent my summer, maybe you can understand why I’m having a hard time reconciling… what is a problem. I have to live and work in Nova Scotia. I have to work on this. I expect progress to be slow.

Last time I got home from Africa, I quit my job. I’ve promised my manager that I won’t do that this time.

I’m not really into running right now. I know that running would help burn off professional angst but I just can’t do it. My desire not to run is about several things.

The primary force making me sit on my patio instead of running is that it doesn’t feel special. My heart is just not in it. My last training cycle, all 7 months of it, was focused on preparing to run across The Gambia, which would be the crowning achievement of my running career. It was. But now that we’ve run into the Atlantic Ocean in Banjul, running doesn’t feel special because it’s not for The Gambia anymore.

Second, the thought of running makes me feel tired and this is fair. I’ve just spent 7 months of my life training for The Gambia and one month running in The Gambia. For these 8 months, my life pretty much revolved around 5 or 6 running days per week. I have been so committed to running in The Gambia that I don’t want to be committed anymore. And because a new race commitment won’t be as special, it makes me feel more tired.

Finally, I miss Pa Modou, Kebba and Spider so much with each running step that I almost don’t want to take any steps because then I’ll miss them more. There’s nothing I can do about missing them. It just is. I can’t make it better because I know that we realistically won’t see each other in the next one or two years. But I can stop running and miss them less.

My coach Cliff wants me to take a page out of the Kenyan and Ethiopian training manuals and take a full month off. I always listen to Cliff so you’ll find me on my patio this month.

While I’m sitting on my patio, I’ll be thinking about our Love4Gambia run. People keep asking me if my accomplishment has sunk in. Or if I’ve processed the entire experience: what I’ve been through, what I’ve achieved. I don’t really have an answer for these people. I don’t know how I am supposed to feel right now or what it will feel like when I’ve “processed” the fact that I’ve run across an entire country, that I’ve gained 3 brothers and a sister, that I’ve raised $34,000. Nothing in my life has prepared me with how to process this.

2 runners high five each other while running in Africa

Erin & Pa Modou. Still connected

All I know is how I feel now. How I felt when I saw the Arch to the city of Banjul with my team. Thank God, I can still close my eyes and feel what I felt when Spider yelled, “I am seeing the Arch!” and it appeared before me and my team and we knew that we had made it together. I don’t ever want that feeling to disappear. I also don’t want to lose the way I feel when I look at the Atlantic Ocean. The way that Pa Modou told me to feel; like the Ocean connects us as much as it separates us.

I’ll run again when I feel ready. My fatigue and loneliness will lessen. In The Gambia, I thought a lot about my Canadian support network. They were running 25 minutes a day to support me. They were running in spirit with me. On certain days on the long road to Banjul, I felt like I could just turn around and see them behind me.

I know that when I am ready to run again, Spider, Kebba and Pa Modou will be right behind me.

4 teammates run together across The Gambia, Africa

A Baraka, Jerejef, Thank You

Dear NSGA and Love4Gambia Supporter,

On Tuesday, July 26, Team Love4Gambia: Erin Poirier, Ashley Sharpe, Pa Modou Sarr, Kebba Suso and Dodou Bah, victoriously jumped into the Atlantic Ocean in Banjul after running 424km over 17 days across the country of The Gambia.  We reached the ocean because we believed that we could do it; we supported and took care of each other every step of this crazy journey; and because we had such vital and wonderful support from you.

Please accept our most sincere thanks for your generous support of our run. Without personal donors, corporate sponsors and in-kind support from the Halifax running community, our team would not have been able to take our first steps from The Gambian border with Senegal.

We learned a lot about the human body and spirit on our 424km road to Banjul. I was getting stronger and faster each day.  My body was able to do it. I ran more kilometers with my teammates than I did solo. The heat (37-42 degrees) never impacted my running performance because I chose not to let it. Still, it was far from easy. Sometimes we hurt and were tired. But each time we were joined by children and youth, all traces of fatigue and pain vanished.  We were running for these kids, for NSGA programs that impact their lives. With them running next to us, we felt like we could fly.

Many Nova Scotians tell me that they could never run as far as I did or in the heat that I ran in. I think that maybe these people just haven’t put themselves in a situation where they are determined to reach their goal- no matter what. I am just a regular girl with some talent for running who worked really hard for 7 months to prepare for a really difficult challenge. I was going to run to the Atlantic Ocean in Banjul, no matter what. I never once doubted that I would get to the ocean.  Managing 42 degree heat was all about being strong.  The human body will allow you to be strong enough if you will it to be strong enough.

I arrived home with something amazing inside me- what we achieved together when we ran into the Atlantic Ocean in Banjul. We raised more than $34,000 that will support Pa Modou, Kebba and our NSGA Gambia staff as they continue our lifesaving work in the field: keeping kids alive. But I also returned home with something missing: my team.  I’m back on the roads in Halifax, running, but feel the absence of my Gambian team with each step.

In a conversation from Canada with Pa Modou in The Gambia, he wrote:

“We (the team) are one bunch of sticks that cannot ever be broken into pieces. We are tight together.  We are connected by the Atlantic Ocean as much as it separates us.”

I don’t think that this will be the end for me and my amazing team and our work to support the NSGA. I hope that you’ll continue to support the Nova Scotia-Gambia Association as our story continues to unfold.

With our most sincere gratitude,

Erin Poirier and Team Love4Gambia

 

Together

Sunday, August 1, 2011, 1030am

Leybato Guest House, Fajara Beach

Ashley and I have been relaxing on the beach and we’ve been processing the incredible experience that we’ve just had together with Pa Modou Sarr, Kebba Suso and Spiderman Dodou Bah.

In “Running the Sahara,” Charlie insightfully states, ‘this experience was so big that I can’t fit it into my head.’ We relate to that.

Ashley and I have been keeping a list of what we’ve run through, what we’ve been through… for our own memory bank as we try to fit experience into our heads.

We are so lucky that we ran through pretty much everything that West Africa had to offer.  You’ll see just how lucky we were, as follows.

We ran through:

  • A wedding
  • A funeral
  • A naming ceremony (remember all Muslim events, we are in a Muslim country)
  • Refugee processing near the Casamance (Senegal) conflict
  • 3 presidential convoys
    • 1 presidential convoy causing a monster traffic jam in Serrekunda requiring us to run through heart and centre of said traffic jam
    • 1 presidential convoy in Soma that caused a stampede exactly where we were standing in which a young girl got trampled.  Our guys, Kebba and Pa Modou, turned into American football players instantly, bear hugging and protecting us in a huddle.
    • Dirt road
    • Paved road
    • Partially paved road
    • Side of road
    • Road with monkeys
    • Road with bushrats
    • Road with snakes at pee stops
    • No roads with nile monitor lizards, thank God
    • Rain
    • Never enough rain
    • Sun (34-35 degrees)
    • Hotter sun (37-38 degrees)
    • Hottest sun (42 degrees)
    • Humidity- worse than hottest sun
    • Humidity and sun so hot that on the last day in Banjul, as I stood motionless next to our truck as we waited to begin, I felt cold. It was 29 degrees.  The weather was “cool” for The Gambia. In that moment, I knew that my brain’s temperature recognition was thoroughly messed up.
    • 2 pairs of melted sneakers

We ran through more than these “things:” events, roads, animals and weather.

(Dad, you may not want to continue reading this list.  Disclaimer- it’s just as safe here as anywhere else in the world.  All cities have crime pockets.  And we had a team of very protective men with us.  Ashley once said that she was scared of a guy with a stick, thinking he might like to hit her with the stick. The man was mentally ill.  If the man hit her with the stick, peaceful Kebba said very simply, “Well then I would tear him apart.”)

We ran through rice fields, ground nut fields and couscous fields.

We ran and drove through long hours together where my team’s bond and friendship turned into family. If you want to really get to know an African country and 3 African men, there’s no better way to become close with the country and its people than to run across it with them. West African societies, especially tribal relationships, are incredibly complex. I now have a wealth of knowledge stored away from conversations that our feet carried us through.

We ran more kilometers as a team than I did alone. Days 8 through 14, I didn’t run a single step solo. On Day 15, I ran 9 km solo (7 by request) and those were my last solo kms.

We enjoyed hours of laughing together.

Ashley and I sometimes giggled late at night until we cried.

We enjoyed hours of a dramatic production where Pa Modou was president and we were the people, engaged in an election campaign.  When there’s no television, internet, stereo… you entertain yourself in other ways.

We entertained ourselves with a rotating “boss:” the team member who (besides me) ran the most kilometers that day.  We laughed hysterically as the boss tried to wield their power until it expired at midnight.

We enjoyed hours of Serere vs Fula jokes until I had one hour too many and started running between Pa Modou and Spider hoping they would finally stop.  They stopped while running, continued the rest of the hours of the day.

We ran through the brief illnesses of 3 of our team members and learned that when one team member is down, we are all down.

We ran with 3 amazing groups who joined us: children, mamas in rice fields and soldiers on convoy. We loved them all equally.  While the soldiers in the Gambia National Army and the National Guard didn’t run any steps with us, they began to recognize us and would salute me from their convoy (sometimes up to 6 trucks and over 100 soldiers). I would salute them back.

We ran so long on the same road that the bush taxi drivers began to recognize us and would give us a happy beep and wave instead of an irritated “get the heck outta my way” beep and wave.

We went through a few mornings where I didn’t want to get out of the truck and run.  On these mornings Kebba always felt my fatigue and would say, “Oh, Erin.  I hate to let you out of the truck.”  Ashley would push me out and Pa would drag me onto the road.  Once pink sneakers are on the road, fatigue would be replaced with happiness.  My team just had to get the pink sneakers onto the road.

We rested for 2 hours under 15 different trees along the South Bank Road and led way more than 15 curious youth through yoga practice.

We ran through the mysterious disappearance of Akon for 3 days.

We stayed in places where our dinner was killed before us. Although in Ndemban, the 10 year-old boy entrusted with killing the rooster with a dull butter knife only managed to mortally wound the rooster and Spider had to step in to relieve the boy of this duties and finish the job.

Ashley and I peed and changed clothes in many hidden spots in the forest together. Sometimes we were only hidden from the truck and that was perfectly acceptable. Sometimes we just changed next to the truck “hidden” by my camping towel.

We ran through forests renowned for armed robbery, although the last incidence was more than one year ago. Though such is the reputation that locals remain weary and police checks are more numerous.

We celebrated each overhead shower and each room with more than one electrical outlet.

We endured a robbery at our lodge in Janjanbureh where the thief knocked off the screen on our window and possibly entered our room.  We’re not sure; the runner was dead asleep and Ashley just rolled over in bed without noticing. We heard that he was a very unskilled thief who only made away with one wallet from a guy in another bank of rooms. We did get a lot of mileage out of this thief as he was named as a suspect in the disappearance of Akon.

We knew that we had been running and living “in the bush” a long time when we were in Ndemban, staying at a local compound next to the road leading to Senegal and site of the Casamance civil conflict. Kebba told us: “We are 3km from Casamance so if you hear gunfire overnight, don’t worry, it’s just coming from the rebels across the border.”  And we easily replied, “Yea, whatever. Is there an electrical outlet here so we can charge the Garmin?” Then Ashley and I didn’t even think to talk about this conversation for another 4 days.

We ran so long that Stephen Harper was starting to look good.

I ran so long and got called “toubab” (Mandinka word for white person) so many times that I started following Pa Modou’s lead and began calling “morfing” (Mandinka word for black person) back.

We ran so long together that I felt like we could run to the end of the world together.

When Kebba drove us back to Leybato Guest House after our victorious swim in the Atlantic Ocean, we sat in the driveway next to each other in the front seat.  We were both silent for about a full minute.  I finally looked at him and said, “Kebba, I don’t want to get out of the truck because when I get out, it feels like it’ll be over.”  Kebba nodded his head slowly.  After a few moments, he looked at me and said, “Our team will never end.”  Then we were brave enough to get out the truck.

My team’s goal was accomplished but after what we’ve travelled, experienced, endured, been through, supported each other through, run through together… being a team will never end.

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Nimbarra

Day 15 + 16

“Nimbarra” means “hard work” in Mandinka.

Day 15, Sunday, July 24. 30km run.

As Ashely wrote, Day 15 was a really big challenge for me. Several factors came together to make this so. My sneakers melted at km 17. More funny than challenging. We didn’t have enough food and I was hungry.  We were in place that food was hard to get. I was cranky. Then my breasts chafed really badly. My sports bra and running tanks rubbed the skin right off, leaving several wounds.

When we started run #2 of the day, we were supposed to hit Brikama at 6km so the run would be one kilometer longer than our usual 25km. I was hurting and I knew that I would need to focus on running and not give in to hurting. If I could just focus enough, I could get the pain under my sports bra to go away. I couldn’t do this while running with one of my guys.  If they were next to me, I knew that I would break down and become really emotional.  So I put Ashley in the truck at 3km and told the guys that I needed them to help me by letting me run alone for the next 3km to Brikama.

They agreed- eager to help me. But then Kebba told me that Brikama might not be at km 6.  Where is it!? I demanded.  I was hovering really close to pain threshold and also to snapping emotionally.  I had been yelling at kids.  This is not like me. “Maybe one or 2 km more.”

So I take off in somewhat stony/stoic silence.  I could focus alone and I could numb myself to the pain in my chafed areas. I’ve run lots of late miles in lots of races, it was just like this. I was just running.

I stopped at the truck at 7km.  We weren’t in Brikama. “Maybe one or two more km,” says Kebba, apologetically. My smile was gone. Brikama was lost. Kebba and Pa wanted me stop but there was no way I was stopping until we got to Brikama.  I had to get there.  The team had to get there.  Our police escort was going to pick us up in Brikama on Day 16 and the police escort was very necessary in the heavy traffic of urban Serrekunda.

I started running one or two kilometers more. I was angry. So angry at the kilometer markers that led to the middle of nowhere. I was hungry. I knew there was pain under my resolve and I was worried that I was creating pain in my legs that would make me suffer the next day. At my lowest moment, a truck full of soldiers drove by.  Along with the kids and the mamas, I love the soldiers.  They travel on open flat-bed trucks. I salute them. They salute me back.  I made it to 9km.

I did not make it to Brikama by 9km.  “How much further?” I ask, wearily.  “Less than a kilometer,” says Kebba.  “Are you sure? Positive?” I demand.  “Well, maybe 990m,” he says.  Poor Kebba.  I had turned into Charlie from “Running the Sahara” but felt like Kevin from the film when he says that he can’t go on running aimlessly to Libya. Kebba doesn’t have a map in his head. He was doing his best.

During that last stretch, I was thinking of my coach Cliff watching me run 150s at the track.  It was comforting so I ran 150s over and over. It wasn’t necessarily the running that was difficult, the kilometers were disappearing, but during these extra kilometers, everything was difficult.

Brikama was 900m from km 9, rounding out the day’s total at nearly 30km. When I reached Brikama, I grabbed my water from Pa and said that I needed to walk and to meet me up the road in about 5 minutes.  When I walked away from the truck, I was crying. I don’t run and cry in real life but I just didn’t know what else to do with myself.  I was so emotionally overwhelmed.  I felt bad for the team because I wouldn’t let them run with me.  I felt bad that I wasn’t my usual smiling self.  But I knew that I wouldn’t have been able to push beyond the pain of my chafed skin without being alone.

I pulled myself together by the time the truck came to get me.  I had to pull myself together because I knew that the guys wouldn’t be able to handle their runner crying.

We clocked the kilometers to the finish line at the ocean after the run and about 25 minutes into our drive, I was steady and ready to talk to the team:

“Pa?” I said. “Thank you for helping me today.”

“Spider. Thank you for helping me today”

“Kebba. Thank you for helping me today”

“Ashley. Thank you for helping me today.”

Day 16. Monday, July 25. 24km run. 410km total. 13.5 to go.

We are at Banjul’s doorsteps.  We stopped our run today at the Westfield junction. It was a really… big challenge getting there.

I was really nervous about today because it involved running through urban, throbbing, bustling, busy Serrekunda.  I wrote on Facebook this morning that in The Gambia, this would be like the equivalent of running through Manhattan.

I needed some extra courage this morning so I opened up my precious package of daily notes and photos from my girl Gina.  Today’s photo was of all of my best girls running down Leeds Street in our wedding gowns at our Royal Wedding Party.  Gina’s note said to think about my girlfriends running with me today, just behind me.  I got teary.  I told Ashley that I had accepted that the next 2 days would be an emotional rollercoaster.

We got in the truck to drive to our start point in Brikama.  I was nervous and not feeling very strong and clutching the photo of my girls in my hand. I told my team that I was nervous and they told me that they would take care of me.  They told me to try not to let the traffic get to me.  I trust my team so absolutely and I knew that they wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me. We started running.  Walliduff Jarr, our Gambia Police escort on the motorcycle in front.  Spider, me and Kebba behind.  My men, flanking me.  And Ashley and Pa in the truck behind me.  I had a protective cocoon.

I was thinking of my Aunt Debby’s advice to “Do you best and the forget the rest.”  Today, “the rest” was the long line of unhappy traffic we were creating behind us.  I did my best to forget about them.

At our 20 minute water stop, a little boy named Molamin joined us.  He listened to Kebba explain Love4Gambia to a young man.  Kebba said, “We are running for the youth of this country.” When we began to run, he was next to us.  Molamin was 12 years old and from Brikama.  He ran the next 9km with us in his plastic sandals.

Molamin was incredibly helpful for me.  Obviously my legs are tired and while I’m not injured, of course I am hurting.  I have used mantras during many races- a short sentence repeated over and over again.  It helps me push the sensory data from my legs out of my head.  I concentrate only on the words.  I was watching Molamin run and saying to myself, “Run for him. Run for him.”  I hurt everywhere and nowhere all at once. We got to 12km relavitely easily.  The transfer trucks hauling logs from Casamance were terrifying and I was scared that cars were going to knock over the police motorcycle several times.

Team switched up at 12km.  Kebba in the truck. Pa out of the truck. Kebba also have Molamin taxi money to get home.  When we started running again, I realized that my second pair of shoes in so many days had melted.  All of a sudden, my left foot dropped and felt flat on the ground.  It was like wearing 2 different pairs of shoes. At km 14 of the day, we hit 400km.  Erin with 2 pairs of shoes melted.

We stopped at the truck and Ashley asked me if the same foot melted each day.  When I said they were different feet, she told me to put the good shoe from yesterday on.  I started to tell her that different pairs of shoes have different wear patterns and you can’t mix them up…. And then I stopped myself.  My shoes have just melted!  Wear pattern is no longer a concern!  Now this isn’t a reflection of my shoe sponsor at all.  My shoes have been very, very good to me.  I don’t think that any brand of shoe would stand up to running 400km across a hot African country.

At km 16, our run became really challenging due to factors beyond our control.  We had been running easily from km 10-16 through traffic because the road was a double-lane divided highway with a median.  We blocked one lane, leaving the second lane for moving cars.  Then news came that the President of The Gambia was going to be leaving the city and they shut down one entire side of the highway.  Now traffic in the busiest urban core was using only 2 lanes, one travelling in each direction.  Exactly where we were about to run.

I saw the traffic jam up ahead and dread washed over me. The “highway” is narrow and there was very little space between oncoming traffic and the traffic in our direction and the flow was moving very slowly.  The very tight space between the 2 lines of traffic, in the centre of the road, was where we ran.

For the next 6km, the police bike drove through the traffic and Spider, Kebba and I followed. We had to run single file: Spider, then me, then Kebba taking up the rear.  Car swerved, sometimes in front of us.  The guys were yelling at cars.  I was yelling at cars. I slapped about 10 cars when they tried to move in front me as soon as the police motorcycle passed.  Pa and Ashley and the support truck lost us several times because they couldn’t follow through the tight traffic.  If I had any sense, I would have been scared.  Instead, I was just mad and that emotion is much easier to run with.

We had to run the last 6km non-stop because there was nowhere to stop for water in the traffic deadlock.  I embraced the traffic light at the Westfield Junction and Spider and Kebba embraced me.  The team survived.

If my blog reads to you like a journal, that’s because it is.  I am keeping this for myself and for my friends and family.  If you are outside of my friends/family circle, I sincerely thank you for taking the time to follow my team as we run through this incredible experience.  Please let me remind you why I’m running.  I’m not running for glory or accomplishment, I’m running to keep kids alive in a country that I love dearly.

If you’ve been following Team Love4Gambia, you’ve gotten to know Pa Modou Sarr and Kebba Suso.  My team.  These 2 remarkable men are staff of the Nova Scotia-Gambia Association.  They are the ones that go out into the field and run the projects that keep kids alive in The Gambia.  Pa and Kebba do the malaria prevention.  They do the HIV prevention.  Using cinema, they educate communities about Child Rights Protection so that no one will exploit kids like Molamin and his sister.

I am running to raise funds so that Pa and Kebba can continue to do this life-saving work with the NSGA in The Gambia.  If you’ve gotten something out of my blog, if you keep coming back and if you haven’t supported Love4Gambia already, please consider donating.  Donate Now! is an easy button to click on the homepage.

We finish this unforgettable journey tomorrow when we jump into the Atlantic Ocean as a team.  If you want to celebrate, please donate.

Namaste.

Erin